so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize