he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
