Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
