All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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