I just saw a hot homeless man
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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