I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
