Having a random hookup so left but love u
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
