walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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