Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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