don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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