Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
