you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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