I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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