you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
