Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
