im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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