If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
...so i touched it.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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