my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
