Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
