ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
3pm strippers are depressing
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
