I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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