I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
