I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
