nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So vagazzling was a success
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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