OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
