I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
