I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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