I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
