Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
