it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
