K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
