his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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