i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
