Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i drank out of a bidet.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
