Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize