God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
