My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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