You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize