I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
