i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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