I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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