The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
