got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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