Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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