Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
