This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
