So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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