if i can run in heels then i can drive
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
