I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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