don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
