I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
