That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
