Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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