well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
