just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize