I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
