pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
birth control should be required to get into college
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You can't just leave with hair like that
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
